Music 101: Pt. 4 - American Idol

"The contestants on American Idol are to musicians what meth dealers are to pharmacists."
- Gregory Hyde

I get asked quite often why I don't try out for American Idol. I usually try to be polite in responding with "It's just not my scene". The person asking is, after all, insinuating I'm good enough to excel as a singer against the stiff competition these shows offer. That's a compliment in my book, so I try to leave it at that. But for you who would like a deeper look into why I would light my eyeballs on fire before joining the Idol elite, read on.

My quote above holds true, I feel, in almost all aspects. Being a meth dealer, as well as an Idol finalist, requires some serious skill. With both, if you're not accomplished at the techniques of your trade or have at least some ability to market yourself, you'll destroy your career before it ever gets started (and your mobile home along with it in the case of the meth dealer).

The Idol shows aren't just the get-rich-quick scheme for a bona fide music career. It's something else entirely; just as with meth dealers - killing off the very people & industry that support your endeavor. In fact, getting rich AT ALL, much less get-rich-quick, is a long shot for these shows. If you're even a finalist on these programs, you're roped into a contract with the corporation that produces them. You think they're gonna pay you a "fair" wage? Think again. Even guys like Green Day or Justin Timberlake are barely making more than 2 or 3% on every album they sell. Yes, the cut performers get from major labels really is that terrible, but that's another blog post... the likelihood that they'll offer anything close to this for an Idol winner or finalist is nil.

What about writing? Writers make more money right? Heck yes they do. That's why singers & performers keep edging in to take writing credits they don't deserve (yep, it happens all the time. Yet another blog post...). The Idol winners write their own songs on their CDs, right? Heck no they don't.

The reason why goes hand in hand with the direction of the Idol winner's career in general. You win and you're essentially a product owned by this massive corporation. This corporation is a public company that has shareholders that want to see the stock rising each quarter. Do you think this multi-billion dollar machine is going to drop millions on this album's production and marketing and then hand the reins over to a 17 year old girl from Alabama just because she won a singing contest? Don't think so. The label has a stable of hit-making songwriters at their disposal, plus thousands of competent writers vying for a shot to get their song on one of these albums. Do you think they're gonna let Suzy Idolwinner write her own stuff over these guys? I don't care if she made Ellen dance on Randy's lap... the answer is emphatically no.

You don't want to make the worst movie in history? Too bad Kelly Clarkson, you're required to be in "From Justin to Kelly" and you better not say anything bad about it at the junkets or we'll sue your Cinderella-story butt back to Nowheresville, USA.

So what's the draw? Why do people keep going on these shows, barring ignorance of these details, of course? Well, out of the rich & famous expectation, fame is still on the table. People will know who you are and, for a little while at least, might even care enough to listen (but maybe not, right Ruben?). That's worth something, no doubt, but the question is whether the cost isn't too high.

For me, the cons simply outweigh the pros. I prefer having control of my art, career, and income stream. Having the freedom to create for the sake of the creation rather than what a corporate CEO thinks will sell, and not ever having to perform a smiling, group sing-a-long while butchering a Queen song for a Ford Focus commercial are all luxuries that I simply can't live without.

But don't get me wrong - I don't detest these shows. There's some grandiose entertainment value in the try-outs when people sing like Helen Keller praying in tongues, get an honest review, and then run out crying, "I gonna be bigger than all a yall's!!!"

More importantly, these shows have fostered the notion in the masses that there is a wealth of undiscovered talent out there. The guy on the train next to you might be a much better singer and songwriter than John Mayer - who knows? The band in the bar you're going to tonight just might be the most incredible group you've seen in years. Gone is the mindset that if you aren't on the radio or on the t.v., you must not be that good. For this, I can't thank these shows enough.