Monday, May 23, 2011

Gig Etiquette Pt. 6: "You Know What You Oughta Do?"



The music industry is unique in many ways. Die of a drug overdose as an accountant or even an actor, and it's regarded as a sad, tragic, wasted life - but a musician? You're now a legend and you get your face on T-shirts at Hot Topic! In no other field can failing to produce any evidence of work for the last 14 years (looking at you, Axl) actually enhance excitement and interest about your endeavors. And in no other field does the mass public automatically assume they have full knowledge of exactly what a professional in that field should do; the subject of this blog entry.

As with other similarly themed blog posts I've done, I realize the good folks taking the time to direct me to the Wonka's golden ticket for riches and fame in the music biz only want me to succeed. However, fielding the same impotent advice night after night gets a little tiring. Normally I just smile, nod, and hope that suffices for a reply... in my mind I'm thinking:

"You should be on iTunes"
- I am, but I don't make a ton of money that way, so I sell downloads on my website too.

"You should go on American Idol!"
- (Click here and read this blog)

"You should get your songs on the radio!"
- (Click here and watch the movie on my home page) It takes a million dollars (approx.) and a label or major management to make that happen with any remote hope of success.

"You should make a viral video!"
- Viral is a term to define what happens AFTER the video is made, controlled entirely by the viewing public. That's like saying I should record a hit song, write a #1-selling book, roll nothing but 7's in Vegas, or campaign successfully for the office of President.

"You should get a manager!"
- Really? Personal manager? Tour manager? Do you know one? Any idea how hard that is? You're making it sound very easy.

"You should get an agent!"
- Booking agent? Publicity agent? Secret service agent? Know a good one, or an attorney who can draw up a contract with one?

"Oooh! Yeah, get an entertainment attorney too!"
- You gonna pay for one? I've dealt with a couple. It was kinda like throwing hundreds of dollars into a garbage disposal except it took hours of calling the garbage disposal and leaving messages for it to start grinding my cash into oblivion.

"Well you could pay for one if you played bigger, better paying shows. You should play Summerfest this year!"
- Gee, why didn't I just decide to play Summerfest, pay an attorney to write up contracts for a team of agents & managers, get my songs on the radio, put my CDs in Best Buy and make a viral video?

Let's think of this in another field.

If someone tells you they're thinking of becoming a lawyer, do you immediately respond with, "Ah - you should pass that BAR exam! And win all your cases!"?

How about if you discover the fella next to you on the plane is an aspiring writer? "You should get your book published! Why haven't you got your books in Barnes & Noble? You should get an editor."

An aspiring underwater welder? "You should master hyperbaric metallurgy and arc techniques!"

I really hope I'm not sounding cynical or vicious here, but I think one could understand how this all seems condescending and implies that I'm either so incompetent or grossly uninformed in my chosen field that I've missed the path to success that is so obvious to nearly every layperson I run into.

You know what you oughta do? Ask questions about what you don't know. You'll get a wealth of information from people who are passionate about what they do, and they'll get to talk about a subject they love. It helps everyone.